Thursday, June 21, 2007

Buster learns a lesson

Today I was out back, feeding critters their daily corn allotment. Buster the dog has learned that you can actually eat corn, even if it isn't really meat. All of the other animals eat it, so it must be food, right?

He never used to eat things that weren't either dog food or meat, then he saw all the other critters really getting into this crunchy yellow stuff that the humans call "corn". So he tried it, and seemed to like it. I think a small part of it is just wanting to eat it so that the other critters don't get it though.

When it's time to feed the animals, you gotta do it in a certain order. For instance, if you feed the main pen before the pigs, they will get excited about the food on the other side of the fence and hop over it. Then you spend the next hour or so rounding pigs up and getting them back into their own pen. There is a single strand of an electric fence a few inches off the ground inside the hog pen, to discourage them from digging, but if they try hard enough they can rear up and put their front legs on top of the 3' high fence that partitions them off from the rest of the pen and wiggle over. (if you've never seen a bunch of 200+ pound pigs wiggling over a 3' fence, it's a pretty impressive sight, then you remember that you have to get them BACK over the fence...)

So anyway, the main pen gets a bale of hay first, mostly to keep the goats out from underfoot while you are feeding the pigs. Second, the pigs get their corn, to give them something to do while you fill up their water tub (or else they jump in front of the hose to drink out of it, try to grab the hose and run with it etc.). Before I dump the pig-corn over the fence to them, I toss a few handfuls of it to the swarm of ducks that follow me around everywhere, or else they get between my feet while I'm trying to pour a 50-lb bag of corn over a 5' fence.

This seems like I'm rambling, but I'm setting up the real story.

So here's the scene: A dozen big white ducks are gathered around eating corn, Buster keeps sneaking into their midst and grabbing some corn from them. Half a dozen porkers are inside their pen eating a pile of corn that is dumped into a tangle of tree roots that I want them to dig up for me. I am standing at the front corner of the pen with the hose, filling up their 30 gallon water trough.

I called Buster over to me, so he wouldn't eat all of the duck corn, and he comes over and sits next to me, but you could tell by the look on his face that he was plotting something. He kept looking over at the pigs in their pen with the mound of corn.

Next thing you know, he's wandering around the yard, doing his best to look nonchalant, but he keeps looking over to see if I am watching. I ignored him to see what he would do next. He casually walked around the hog pen, to the other side of their little shed where I couldn't see him. Then I heard SNAP!!! immediately followed by "YIPE-YIPE-YIPE!!!" and a panic stricken pit bull came galloping around the pen, crashing through the brush. He came over and sat by my side, with every muscle trembling. He looked very embarrassed.

It seems that his scheme was to somehow reach through the fence into the hog pen and get some of that crunchy yellow stuff. What he didn't take into consideration was the 10,000 volts of electricity circulating through the innocent looking wire about at nose level.

Today's lesson for Buster: DO NOT, under ANY circumstances, try to steal corn from pigs.

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