Pete's random thoughts

Monday, April 22, 2013

I don't care how long you have been reenacting

It seems like one a month on average, somebody who is new to flintlocks will try to tell me how they work.

Then, when I try to explain the mechanical concepts behind them to him, they will tell me some nonsense about how the Sgt. in their reenacting group has been reenacting for 25 years and he said .

Here's what it boils down to: I don't care what your Sargent said. I don't care how long he has been reenacting. It means nothing to me.

Gun locks are mechanical mechanisms. They work on known principals of operation. Trust me on this.

The fact that someone has been dressing up and pretending he is someone else for decades doesn't mean that he has some special knowledge of how guns work, it just means he likes to play dress-up a lot. Just because he has owned a musket for 20 years doesn't mean he knows how it works or how to fix one.

My wife has been driving since the 1980's. That doesn't mean she knows how to rebuild a carburetor. My earliest recollection of eating Chinese food was when I was 6 years old. That doesn't mean I know how to cook it.

If you want to take the advice of someone in your unit because they have been doing it a long time, fine. Just don't come to me and expect me to fix what they screw up for free.

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

What a dimwit move

I'm working on a new feature for our website: an online shopping cart. When it goes live, you'll be able to order a musket while sitting on your couch in your underwear at 3AM without having to exchange a bunch of emails or playing phone tag with us first.

I've been at it for three straight days. It involves writing new descriptions in a new format for every single product that we carry and for the most part, taking new pictures of stuff to upload.

My brain is getting mushy from looking at this computer screen for so long and I'm starting to make dimwit mistakes.

For instance, there is an assortment of paraphenalia spread out in front and all around me. Lists of things, sheets of white paper to photograph small stuff against, notes etc. There are also pens, highlighter markers and a tape measure.

Sometimes you just reach out and grab the wrong thing. What I learned tonight is that Sharpie brand permanent black markers don't work very well as highlighter markers.

What a dimwit move...maybe it is time for bed.

Beards, bacon and sin. Did Moses make it up?

I am going to make an analogy that the folks who read this blog (mostly historians and reenactors) can identify with.

Imagine that there is a single painting that shows the amazing details of a battle scene in 1758. It shows military uniforms, weapons, troop formations, boats and all sorts of stuff from the material culture of the day in exacting detail. EVERYONE accepts this painting as being authentic and never doubts at all that it was painted by an eyewitness to the event in the year 1758 because it says so, right there on the painting.

Since the 1960's and the discovery of this awesome, detailed painting in the attic of a historic house museum, we have all used this painting to authenticate the reenacting clothes that we wear, the drill that we use, the muskets that we carry.

Then, when the curator of the museum it is in removes the painting from it's frame for cleaning and conservation, he discovers that the wide, ornate frame has been covering up some stuff. Over in the corner in a spot normally covered by the frame, the painting depicts a 1963 Buick Skylark being driven by Elvis through a McDonalds drive-in. Turns out the whole thing was just a promotional stunt that was painted for the Lake George McDonalds in 1964 and was given to the museum before anyone who works there now can remember. (don't get too excited, I made up this painting as an example only)

Oops. Maybe this painting isn't so authentic after all. Maybe the very expensive uniforms that we all had made based on the indisputable painting are not correct after all. Maybe we need to look at other assumptions based on this painting and what we are doing wrong out there.

Seems simple doesn't it? If we found a historic source with a major anachronism in it, we would be forced to discount it in order to be taken seriously by anyone, right?

Now onto my discovery.

I haven't cut my hair since 1997. I haven't shaved my beard off since around the same time. Why? Because it seems wrong to do so. If God wanted us to wear short hair, he wouldn't have invented it in such a way that it grows long naturally. If I wasn't supposed to have a beard, it wouldn't have grown there in the first place. Plus, the Bible tells us NOT to cut our hair or trim our beards in no uncertain terms. Bear with me as we examine that idea.

In later years I have spent more time trying to wring truths out of the Bible. Mostly the Old Testament, when God actively gave instructions to the people and told us what to do.

The book of Leviticus is the part of the Bible that gives us all the kosher and dietary laws among many, many other rules. It says who we can and can't have sex with, what kind of animals we can eat, how to treat our slaves, rules for doing business, all sorts of stuff. It spells out all sorts of minute details about what to sacrifice for what sin, what should be a "burnt offering" vs a "wave offering" vs a "peace offering". If you were to strictly follow the rules spelled out in Leviticus, you'd spend a lot of time sacrificing animals.

And yes, it is in Leviticus that delicious bacon is declared to be a sin because pigs are "unclean". In it is also the part that rabbis have tweaked into the rule that it is a sin to eat dairy products and meat products together based on the clear, simple command that "thou shalt not seethe a kid in it's mother's milk". Not boiling a young goat in it's own mother's milk seems pretty straightforward, albeit baffling. The more baffling part is how people have twisted such a plain sentence into having two sets of dishes, declaring eggs to be dairy instead of the chicken embryos that they really are, and finite rules about how much time must pass between eating meat and eating cheese in order to not consider them to be eaten together...but I don't want to digress too far from the main topic of this post.

The book of Leviticus, the part of the Bible where Moses reports to the people all of the rules and regulations that God himself supposedly ordered Moses to relate to them, states:

"Ye shall not eat any thing with the blood: neither shall ye use enchantment or observe times. Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard. Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the Lord"

The three passages quoted above address not eating non-kosher meat, not using mediums and fortunetellers, not getting tattoos or cutting yourself in the act of mourning, and right there in the middle it tells us that we aren't supposed to cut our hair (although specifically it sounds like mullets are being singled out) and not to trim our beards. Don't get me wrong, I don't have an issue with mullets being banned, especially when the orders came right from God...or did they?

It's what the Bible says right? God's law. At least that's how the story goes. Supposedly this is the stuff that God told Moses, and Moses's brother told the people. Who can argue with Moses, right?

I can.

If you read all of Leviticus, you will come across the passage at 11:6 where it discusses what animals can be eaten. It states:

"And the hare, because he cheweth the cud; he is unclean to you."

Oops. There it is. The Biblical equivalent to Elvis driving a '63 Buick through a McDonalds drive-through in a painting of the French and Indian War.

Rabbits do not chew their cud. They might sit around and chew grass when they aren't busy making other rabbits, but they are not ruminants and do not chew their cud. This is the smoking gun that tells us that there is something amiss in the authenticity of Leviticus. God invented rabbits. He KNOWS they don't chew their cud. He wouldn't have told Moses to tell the people not to eat rabbits (which taste like white meat chicken by the way) because they chew their cud but don't have cloven hooves and are therefore unclean because they absolutely don't fit the disqualifying rules. Yeah, those rules...the ones that God supposedly gave Moses.

The problem is that those rules are spelled out in the very same book of the Bible that says that rabbits chew their cud, and is therefore factually unreliable. Moses or somebody else who wasn't God obviously made it up.

Looking at this with the same mindset that we'd use to decide what buttons are authentic to use on our circa 1758 regimental coats, we need to look at the facts and provenance of the documentation. We need to look at it like detectives. Why did Moses (or his brother) decide to invent the dietary laws if they weren't really from God? If the whole book of Leviticus is now suspect because of the fact that Moses or his brother didn't want people to eat rabbits for whatever reason, what were God's real instructions to the people?

Jump ahead to Jeremiah 7:22, where God says "For I did not speak to your fathers, or command them in the day that I brought them out of Egypt, concerning burnt offerings and sacrifices."

It seems that God was also telling Jeremiah that the rules spelled out in Leviticus isn't his doing.

Not like I have the spare time to get into another research project, but perhaps it is time for me to examine each book of the Bible to see if I can make an educated guess about which books pass the sniff test and should be followed and which ones don't.

We owe God at least the same effort as we give the buttons on our coats.








Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Don't cry over spilled milk

There really is something to that old saying: "Don't cry over spilled milk".

Spilled milk can be cleaned up. The dog can lick it up. Cows make more milk all the time, so it isn't like squandering a precious natural resource. Sure, if you don't clean it up well, it will smell like rancid milk soon, but that is why you don't waste time being distraught about it and just clean it up.

Now artificially red-dyed instant juice products on the other hand. THOSE are OK to cry about, especially if a quart sized cup of said juice is spilled onto the bookshelf.

Monday, December 24, 2012

Fun with scammers...update

This post is an update to the last one where I mentioned leading on a Nigeria scammer for my entertainment.

I get a number of scam emails in my inbox every day. I generally don't read them, but the other day it occurred to me that it might be entertaining to screw with one of the Nigerian scammers for a while. It comes complete with a cartoonish picture of an ATM machine and the logo for a presumably fictional "Zenith" bank.

Unfortunately, he doesn't just "reply" when answering me, so I can't just forward the whole conversation to you. What I have done below is assemble the conversation between us by copy and paste. Read it from the top down to stay chronological.

I have a hard time not laughing when I write this stuff:

________________________________________________________________________________

12-20-12
Attention Beneficiary
This is to officially inform you that we have verified your

Contract/inheritance fund file and found out that you have not received your Fund $12.5M.

You will receive it through ATM CARD, reconfirm this following

{1} Your full name
{2} Your full address
{3} Your direct telephone number.

Regards.
Mr. Frank Ibekwe
Director, Foreign Operation
ATM Card Dept Zennith Bank


12-21-12
Hello,
That is great news!
Let me know what name, address and phone number you have on file for me and I will let you know if it is correct. Thanks,
Pete
12-21-12
Dear: Pete Thanks for your mail and the content noted by me. There is no way i can disclose your data until you reconfirm it back to me that is how it works. Regards.
Mr. John Maxwell Director, Foreign Operation ATM Card Dept Zenith Bank Telephone No +234-806 360 6851
12-21-12
If you have my email address, and know my name, then you obviously have more data on me.
Please let me know what you have on file and I will confirm.
12-21-12
Dear: Pete Sir i have all your data but if you can not reconfirm it back to me, i will not disclose it to you for security reason and not to make a mistake to another person that is not meant for, so send your detail now as i will not force you to do so rather it is for the safety of this ATM Card not to be sent to a wrong person that is why it is important you reconfirm it back to me. Regards.
Mr. John Maxwell Director, Foreign Operation ATM Card Dept Zenith Bank Telephone No +234-806 360 6851
12-21-12
Why should I trust you if you don't trust me?
Is this some kind of scam?
12-22-12
Dear: Pete Sir it is not a scam as you ask but it is because we have to make sure it will not be delivered to wrong person that is why you have to reconfirm your address and too i don't have more time on this issue to be sorted out so suit your self now and get the details send back to me. Regards.
Mr. John Maxwell Director, Foreign Operation ATM Card Dept Zenith Bank Telephone No +234-806 360 6851
12-22-12
Sorry for being paranoid, but I am afraid of identity theft. Last year someone tried to hack into my bank account and steal $47!
If you want me to trust you and work with you on settling this account, you need to meet me part way and show that you are for real. If this really is my inheritance, I certainly want to claim it.
All you list is a phone number, but I can't talk to you on the phone because I am nearly deaf.
Your phone number looks like it is from France or something. With a French sounding name like Maxwell, you must be located in Paris.
I have ancestors from France, so this money probably does belong to me.
12-24-12
Dear: Pete Sir nobody is going to thief your identity and nobody is going to hack your bank account, i gave you 100% assurance for that. It is really your inheritance that is why i want you also to claim it now before next year so that it will not enter the first quarter by next year. I give you my word and it is my bond, the only thing holding this issue is your full details if you can send them to me. Do not bother to call me but give me your number i will call you back, please time is running out, send your information now so that i can start the process today before i went for a holiday later to night. I am urgently awaiting for your response with your full information now. Regards.
Mr. John Maxwell Director, Foreign Operation ATM Card Dept Zenith Bank Telephone No +234-806 360 6851
12-24-12
Hello,
As I said before, I am unable to talk on the phone because of my deafness.
It is cold here today, Minnesota winters can be harsh! Is it cold there in France? Will there be any special Christmas celebrations there? Tonight we select one of the men from our village who has the honor of dressing up as Saint Stanislous and lighting the menorah. This is an old French tradition.
I have done some research into my French ancestors and I believe that the person with whom my name is associated with in your files is probably Pierre-Gaston-LeClerc-Mugabee DuGall Plunkett. He was descended from french royalty. I can send you a photo of him that was taken in the early 1960's if you want to compare it to the one in your file. {Pete's note: if he wants the picture, I will send him one, it is a picture of Mr. Bean} He was a local hero during WW2 because he helped to protect the Vichy army from the Israelis who were attacking from the south. The Pope even named a brick in the patio of the Vatican after him.
I would be very proud to receive his inheritance! We can use the money to build a museum in his honor. For your part in all of this, we can name a shrine in it after you! I will start drawing up plans tonight! What should we name the shrine? You sign your letters with John Maxwell, but your email address shows up as Frank Ibekwe. Is Ibekwe a French name too, or is it Belgian?
Merry Christmas, may St. Stanislous light your way on this most auspicious occasion!
Pete (who is proudly descended from Pierre G.L.M. DuGall-Plunkett)

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Fun with scammers

For the past week I have been playing games with a Nigeria scammer. I get probably half a dozen Nigerian scams in my inbox every day, and sometimes the mood will strike me to mess with them for laughs.

This one is from Nigeria and claims to represent Zenith Bank where a distant relative of mine who died has $12.5 million dollars in an unclaimed account there.

The scammer wants my name, phone number and address so he can send me the ATM card to access the $12.5 million. I've been screwing with him, telling him that I am afraid of identity theft and that he should give me the info that they have on file about me so I can confirm it.

Then I asked him if the phone number he has listed on his email (no address) is in France, because it looks French. The guy's email address has an African name in it, but the "banker" claims to be "John Maxwell". I told him that with a French area code and a French sounding name like Maxwell (hahaha), he must be located in Paris! And here I am with the equally French name of Plunkett (LOL), so my ancestors were probably from France too, so that money MUST be mine, right?

I wonder how long I can string this guy along?

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Tech question bafflement

I don't get people. They baffle me. Wendy answers customer emails about sales, I answer tech questions. Some of these questions are from people who are just too damn stupid or lazy to read the information that is already presented to them on our website. Other questions are specific and legitimate. Some of them are just downright bizarre. This week alone I have had to address these two prize winners: "Can a double barrel flintlock shotgun be converted in such a way that modern 20ga shotshells can be used in it, but done in such a way that it can also be used as a flintlock?" and this one from a jackass in Utah: "Can I get a Brown Bess with stainless steel instead of carbon steel?" The kick in the balls is that when I explained to said jackass exactly why we would never do such a goofy, non-authentic thing, he replied with a long, arrogant reply about how stainless is superior to nonstainless and that they had the technology to make stainless in the 18th century. Where do these people come from?

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Cleaning the gun room

I've spent the better part of two days cleaning the gun room. Wow, over the years I have accumulated a lot of crap. There are leftover parts from guns that were built a long time ago, unidentified cases of ammo, spare barrels, spare parts kits. I'm taking the excess stuff and listing it on gunbroker to find new homes for it. So far I have only come across one receiver that I can't quite identify. Seems to be for some sort of AK variant. I'll figure it out and if the gun it was purchased was is already built on a different receiver, it will go on gunbroker too. The gun room looks a lot nicer now. It will be easier to find stuff. As an added bonus, Caleigh is now 11 years old and I can put her to work sorting the boxes and boxes of used brass. Kids are handy like that.